Almost every relationship experiences conflict.

Conflict itself isn't the problem. What matters is the pattern—how disagreements begin, what happens when tension rises, and what the two of you tend to do next.

This brief assessment is designed to help you better understand those patterns.

When you finish, you'll get insight into:

your overall Conflict Load and what it may mean;
your hot zones—the areas creating the most strain;
the loop your conflicts tend to follow;
who tends to drive each part of the pattern; and
a clear next step based on your results.

Answer based on what usually happens—not what you think should happen.

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

How to Get the Most from It

• Set aside about 15 minutes, somewhere private.

• Think about the last 90 days, not the relationship as a whole.

• Answer for how things are, not how you wish they were. The goal is an accurate picture, not a good score.

• Take it on your own first. If your partner wants to take it too, compare profiles afterward, when neither of you is upset.

How to Answer

The next six sections each contain five statements. Rate each statement based on the last 90 days, using this scale:

This section looks at how fast arguments heat up and how big they get.

Picture your last few disagreements from the first comment to the last word. Focus on speed and size: how quickly things heated up, and how far they spread from the original topic.

Score	Meaning
0	Rarely True
1	Sometimes True
2	Often True
3	Almost Always True

Sections 1 through 5 each end with a Who Drives It? question. Check the box that fits best. These answers do not add to your score. They shape your Conflict Profile.

There are no right or wrong answers. If a statement does not apply to your relationship at all, score it 0.

1 Small disagreements turn into big arguments within minutes. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

2 We argue about the same few topics over and over. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

3 At least one of us raises our voice during a typical disagreement. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

4 One argument can take over an entire day or evening. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

5 By the end of an argument, we are no longer talking about what started it. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

This section looks at how you talk to each other once one of you is upset. Focus on tone and words, not topics. Rate what gets said, and how it gets said, once the conversation turns tense. Count your own words and tone too, not only your partner's. These statements describe both of you.

Score	Meaning
0	Rarely True
1	Sometimes True
2	Often True
3	Almost Always True

6 Complaints come out as attacks on who the other person is, rather than on what happened.

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

7 Sarcasm, eye-rolling, or mockery shows up during disagreements. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

8 Name-calling or insults come up during conflict. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

9 Past mistakes get pulled into new arguments as ammunition. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

10 I feel disrespected during or after our arguments. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

This section looks at what happens when one of you raises a concern. Think about the moments right after one of you says "Something is bothering me." Rate what usually happens in the next few exchanges: whether the concern gets heard, or gets answered with a defense.

Score	Meaning
0	Rarely True
1	Sometimes True
2	Often True
3	Almost Always True

11 When one of us raises a concern, the other answers with a counter-complaint. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

12 Admitting our own part in an argument feels almost impossible for one or both of us. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

13 Arguments turn into a contest over who is right and who is to blame. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

14 One of us spends the argument defending or explaining instead of listening. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

15 I feel unheard because every point I make gets a rebuttal. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

This section looks at what happens when one or both of you disengages. Think about silence and distance during conflict. Withdrawal counts even when it looks calm: going quiet, leaving the room, changing the subject, or agreeing just to make the argument stop.

Score	Meaning
0	Rarely True
1	Sometimes True
2	Often True
3	Almost Always True

16 One of us goes silent or stops responding partway through an argument. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

17 One of us walks away without saying when, or whether, we will come back to it. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

18 Talking during a disagreement feels like talking to a wall. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

19 One of us agrees just to end the argument, without meaning it. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

20 Important topics go unspoken because raising them does not feel worth the fight. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

This section looks at what happens after the argument ends. Shift your attention to the hours and days after an argument. Rate what happens once the arguing stops: how you find your way back to each other, or whether you do.

Score	Meaning
0	Rarely True
1	Sometimes True
2	Often True
3	Almost Always True

21 After an argument, neither of us knows how to start making things right. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

22 Apologies, when they happen, do not feel like they settle anything. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

23 The tension or silence after a fight lasts longer than the fight itself. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

24 We move on without ever resolving what started the argument.

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

25 Feeling close again after a disagreement takes a day or longer. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

This final section looks at what the conflict is taking from the rest of your life together. Step back from the arguments themselves.

Rate how the conflict affects everything around them: your home, your closeness, your work and friendships, and the people who live with you. Include the times you are not arguing.

Score	Meaning
0	Rarely True
1	Sometimes True
2	Often True
3	Almost Always True

26 Home feels tense, even when we are not arguing. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

27 Affection, fun, or closeness has dropped because of the conflict. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

28 The conflict spills into other parts of my life, like work or time with friends. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

29 Children or others in our household (and outside) see or feel the conflict.

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

30 I have wondered whether this relationship can last the way things are going. *

0 = Rarely True

1 = Sometimes True

2 = Often True

3 = Almost Always True

D1. Thinking about how disagreements usually begin or intensify, who is more likely to drive the escalation? *

Mostly me

Mostly my partner

Both of us about equally

D2. When criticism, blame, sarcasm, disrespect, or hurtful comments happen, who is more likely to use these behaviors? *

Mostly me

Mostly my partner

Both of us about equally

D3. When conflict becomes defensive or turns into blaming, who is more likely to respond this way? *

Mostly me

Mostly my partner

Both of us about equally

D4. When one of you shuts down, withdraws, avoids the conversation, or stops engaging, who is more likely to do this? *

Mostly me

Mostly my partner

Both of us about equally

D5. After conflict, who is more likely to take the lead in trying to reconnect, repair the disagreement, or make things right? *

Mostly me

Mostly my partner

Both of us about equally

You've taken an important step toward understanding the patterns behind your relationship conflicts.

Enter your information below, and we'll email your personalized Relationship Conflict Profile.

What You'll Discover

Your conflict hot zones: The areas where tension tends to build.
Your conflict loop: How disagreements may escalate and repeat.
Your next step: Guidance based on your assessment results.

Your results are for personal reflection—not to assign blame or determine who is right or wrong.

Please enter an email address you can access so you can receive your profile.

How did you first hear about the Relationship Conflict Assessment?Discovery Source *

I agree to terms & conditionsprovided by the company. By providing my phone number, I agree to receive text messages from the business.

Almost every relationship experiences conflict.

Conflict itself isn't the problem. What matters is the pattern—how disagreements begin, what happens when tension rises, and what the two of you tend to do next.

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

How to Get the Most from It

How to Answer

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

This section looks at how you talk to each other once one of you is upset. Focus on tone and words, not topics. Rate what gets said, and how it gets said, once the conversation turns tense. Count your own words and tone too, not only your partner's. These statements describe both of you.

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

This section looks at what happens when one of you raises a concern. Think about the moments right after one of you says "Something is bothering me." Rate what usually happens in the next few exchanges: whether the concern gets heard, or gets answered with a defense.

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

This section looks at what happens when one or both of you disengages. Think about silence and distance during conflict. Withdrawal counts even when it looks calm: going quiet, leaving the room, changing the subject, or agreeing just to make the argument stop.

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

This section looks at what happens after the argument ends. Shift your attention to the hours and days after an argument. Rate what happens once the arguing stops: how you find your way back to each other, or whether you do.

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

This final section looks at what the conflict is taking from the rest of your life together. Step back from the arguments themselves.

Rate how the conflict affects everything around them: your home, your closeness, your work and friendships, and the people who live with you. Include the times you are not arguing.

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

Who Drives It?

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™

You're Almost Done!

What You'll Discover

© 2026 Project SPICES LLC | Break the Fight Cycle™